Thank You 2016 

This year, like so many before, has taught me a plethora of life lessons. I have always been so quick to dismiss the previous year with all its struggles and look towards the next with half-ass hope. 

This was one of the most difficult years in my life. Somewhere along the way I became lost. I started mourning the loss of the “good ol’ times” and began thinking, “What the hell! This isn’t how I imagined my life would be right now.” All of a sudden it was like I woke up and- poof! My marriage was hanging on by a single thread. My career, though lucrative, was now a constant grey area of new and unfamiliar responsibilities and struggles. My tribe of friends disappeared into the clouds of their own lives. And family issues, of course, had reared their ugly heads. 

In 2015, I got married. That whole year I lived in a drunken haze of happiness and support and attention of so many. I had my feet firmly planted in work and at home. Then in 2016, when the buzz wore off from the rainbows and butterflies, it was as if my life suddenly became a dark and gloomy cloud of blah. 

Somewhere in the middle of the year, I finally threw my arms up and screamed at The Universe, “I am getting help!” I said it with as much authority as a kid threatening to tell mom because, of course, mom would fix it. I believed “getting help” would be the mom coming to the rescue.  Little did I know then, that was the light peaking through the dark thunder clouds of my life. 

I started seeing a therapist. I’m sure that sounds cliché, typical in fact. But it was more than that. It was a declaration to finally take care of me. 

Seeing a therapist was just the bud that would eventually bloom into a flower of self discovery. I started reading “self-help” books. I started feverishly searching for more and more “help”. That small peaking stream of light started to become a gleaming ray of sunshine starting to warm me. 

See, I learned that taking care of me isn’t selfish. I didn’t have to be a martyr, sacrificing myself for the “greater good”. If you run a car low on gas long enough, you will sputter then die- on a country road 10 miles away from the nearest gas station. You will be no good to anyone. 

I had hit my breaking point. I felt alone in all of my doings. But, changing my way of thinking brought a sense of peace. Just knowing I was making the first steps in self-care was liberating. 

When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all about. 

Every single thing you go through in this life molds and shapes you into the person you are today. Changing your way of thinking will affect the outcome. The storm won’t go away, but you will be prepared with your rain boots and umbrella and then splash in the puddles. 

I could have chosen to curl in a ball and cry and let all my struggles take over my life like an evil dictator. But, I chose to make a stand, reach out for help and inner peace, and to show gratitude.


ˈɡradəˌt(y)o͞od/ noun 

the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

I know it’s hard to show gratitude to The Universe for what it feels like being grounded to an eternal hell. But here it goes… 

Dear 2016, 

It’s been a tough one, but I thank you. Thank you for teaching me that I am stronger than I thought and for giving me the strength to persevere through my struggles. Thank you for not allowing me to give up or lose hope or my sense of self. Thank you for introducing me to a more spiritual life and for kickstarting my journey to self discovery. Thank you for showing me that I am important and that it is selfless to take joy and find peace in self care. Thank you for make me more aware, mindful, and present. I am thankful for even the little time I had with my tribe and I am thankful for new or rekindled friendships. Thank you for pushing me and giving me the courage at work and at home. And finally I am thankful for what 2017 has to offer me. With my new learnings, I know I will be better equipt to deal with the bumps in the road. I can feel, in fact I know, 2017 will bless me with great promise of amazing opportunities and new chapters in my journey. To 2017, you will be my best year for I am a better person because of 2016. I look forward to what is to come and I am ready to conquer my life, love, and enjoy more laughter. 

Love, Me

More importantly, thank you to my readers and supporters. Though we may have never met, you give me reason. And I would like you to be the first to know that because of you and 2016, I have decided to take writing this blog to the next level. I have decided to start writing my first book. I am so grateful to you. Without all of you, I would never have thought I could. 

This has turned into more than just beauty blog, this is more than just life. We are all on a journey. A journey that throws curves balls one day and sets off fireworks the next. But because of you, I know I am not alone in any of my trials or tribulations. And I hope because of me, you have learned something that has helped you along the way, too. 

We are all on this Earth together and we all only get one life. Enjoy it. Show gratitude. Be present. And for heavens sake, love YOU! You rock. You kick ass. And I know 2017 will be your best year yet too.

Happy New Year! 


When the Weather (not the hair) is Frightful

Blah… it’s winter. 

While the season is perfect to get comfortable with a cup of hot cocoa, Netflix, & your cat, you can’t ignore the fact that the dry, dreary, plain yucky weather can wreak havoc on your hair. Don’t fret! There are plenty of ways you can protect your hair from the dreaded weather. 

Your hair starts to become more difficult to retain moisture, making it dry, brittle, and prone to breakage and damage, not to mention the frizz and static that often comes (though doesn’t go) with your winter wardrobe. However, these are all problems that can be avoided as long as you have the right hair care routine for winter. Don’t let your hair fall victim to the winter blues too! When Snowflakes Fall… From Your Scalp

Your scalp is drier and itchier than ever during the winter months because of the lack of moisture in the air. This is why your poor skin in dry and it seems you have to bathe with lotion. It leads to issues like dandruff and scalp irritation, which can lead to hair loss in severe cases. What most people don’t realize is that the dandruff problem can be manageable with the right care and a little love. 

Pureology Hydrate Shampoo & Conditioner (The Peppermint, Sage, & Rosemary create a cooling, invigorating feeling on your scalp relieving it of the itch and flakes.)

Redken Scalp Relief (This has powerful ingredients such as Zinc to relieve the agitation of the dryness and itch.)

Young Living Rosemary & Lavender Essential Oils (Mix with Coconut Oil as a mask or make a mist with distilled water & witch hazel for natural relief.) 2 Gifts Not Wanted for Christmas… Frizz & Static

One of the most annoying things about winter is all of the static and frizz. The hoodies, sweater, scarves, gloves, and beanies all seem to gang up on your hair, like your older aunts and grandmas wanting to smooch you at your holiday gatherings. To tackle this, wash your hair only with lukewarm water, NOT hot water, as the latter will strip away the natural oils and blow open the cuticle that protect and nourish your hair. Apply a leave-in conditioner or frizz fighting serum or lotion to keep your hair smooth.

Pureology Colour Fanatic Multi-Tasking Hair Beautifier (This provides 21 benefits including static reducing and frizz fighting.)

Redken Frizz Dismiss Regimen (My ultimate favorite for all hair types since it is customizable. It also includes “dryer” sheets for your hair to tame the frizz on the run.)

Young Living Sandalwood with Almond Oil as a serum is a natural and fantastic way to fight frizz. Shine Bright like a Diamond Pendent Your Husband Should Have Bought You (Instead of the Blender) 

The lack of moisture in winter not only dries out your scalp and makes your hair frizzy, but also leaves your hair looking dull, lifeless, as a blah. Ask your stylists about conditioning shine treatments such as a Redken Shades EQ Gloss. 

Pureology Shine Max (This serum adds light reflecting shine while making your hair soft and luxurious. This also tames stray fly aways without making you look like a grease pit.)

Redken Diamond Oil Pillow Proof Glow Dry (Honest to God, this is hair crack. Now only does it add insane shine without the weight of an oil, it protects against heat and blow dries your hair 50% faster.)

Honey with Young Living Roman Chamomile Essential Oil (Honey is a humectant that seals in the moisture and helps restore shine to dull and damaged hair. Roman Chamomile soothes scalp and adds softness to hair strands. Leave on for 30 minutes and rinse well.)Get Warm (With Cocoa, a Blankie, & Hair Mask)

Ensure your follicles get all the nourishment and love you can give them by warming them up a tad. Throw on your slippers, relax and moisturize your hair under a cap. Purchase a cheap shower cap at the dollar store and allow it to work wonders. Putting one on while deep conditioning will trap the heat, open the cuticle, and allow the conditioner to deeply penetrate the hair shaft.

Pureology Precious Oil Softening Hair Masque (This intensely moisturizes with Sunflower & Coconut Oil.)

Redken Diamond Oil Deep Facets Intensive Treatment Mask (This provides intensive nourishment and provides a protective layer of oils to help prevent damage.)

Warmed Olive Oil & Young Living Geranium (Smell fantastic while naturally giving your hair some much needed love.)Keep Your Hair Cool… Not Hot

Scorching hot water in the shower may feel great on a cold winter’s morning but you are causing more harm than good. Your skin and hair loses all it natural oils and your pores and hair cuticles remains open. Lock in moisture by rinsing with warm to cool, NOT hot. Fun tip: Apply a thin layer of coconut oil to your skin (and hair if your hair is thick and course) before rinsing. Your skin will remain silky and soft. Also, blow dry your hair on low or medium heat. Let’s take just 5 more minutes in the morning. It’s not that bad… and I promise you, you’ll thank me. Plus, it’s more time to hide from your kids and husbands. Towels and Hats and Friction… OH MY!

Rubbing your hair with a towel when you get out of the shower can cause some serious breakage. Your hair is at its weakest state when it is wet. Blot and squeeze the excess water out. Hats are another culprit for breakage. I get it, it’s freaking cold and we need hats-plain and simple. However, taking them on and off can cause friction, breakage, and horrible static. Try putting a silk bandana in the hat or wrapping a silk scarf around your head first before adorning your cute winter hat. Add Some Color to the Gray & Drab 

Spice up your look with a new color. Don’t go drastic since lord knows you will change your mind come spring. However, a little makeover does wonders for our mood. While your at it, treat yourself to a mani/pedi…. and maybe a glass of champagne. Apply some Young Living Stress Away or Peace & Calming and just relax. 

Happy Winter my little snowflakes! Be as unique as they are! 

Oil Love (The Holiday Edition) 

Happy Holiday Lovelies! It’s my most favorite time of year. This is year is even better because of my new found love for Young Living Essential Oils! There are so many recipes I am dying to share as a little gift to you.Diffuser Recipes: 

Holiday Rush: (Get your energy flowing for all the shopping, wrapping, baking, and more with them energetic blend.)

  • 2 drops En-R-Gee
  • 2 drops Clarity 
  • 2 drops Spruce

Christmas Spirit: (Fill your home with the perfect smells of the Holidays.) 

  • 4 drops Christmas Spirit
  • 1-2 drops Orange (depending on how much citrus you like) 

Pumpkin Pie: (It’s a staple of the Holidays! Fill your house with the smell without the added pounds.)

  • 4 drops Cinnamon Bark
  • 1 drop Clove
  • 1 drop Nutmeg 

Apple Pie (Another delicious staple. Fill your house with a smell like Grandma is baking.)

  • 3 drops Orange 
  • 2 drops Nutmeg
  • 1 drop Cinnamon Bark
  • 1 drop Clove 

Ginger Bread Cookies 

  • 3 drops Ginger
  • 2 drops Clove 
  • 2 drops Nutmeg
  • 1 drop Cinnamon Bark

Spiced Cider

  • 3 drops Ginger 
  • 2 drops Orange
  • 1 drop Cinnamon Bark 

On the Nice List (This blend will also clear your mind and release some holiday stress.)

  • 4 drops Stress Away
  • 2 drops Peppermint

Oh Christmas Tree

  • 4 drops Spruce 
  • 2 drops Frankincense 
  • 1 drop Cedarwood

Winter Hibernation (Curl up in your snuggie by the fire and take a nap with this blend.)

  • 3 drops Lavender 
  • 3 drops Cedarwood
  • 2 drop Orange 
  • 1 drop Thieves

Walking in a Winter Wonderland (Take a hike in the forest without freezing your tooshie off.) 

  • 3 drops Frankincense 
  • 2 drops Spruce
  • 1 drop Cedarwood 

DIY Gift Ideas: 

Pain Relief Roller (May be a great gift idea for those older in your life or those gym buffs.)

  • 10 drops Palo Santo 
  • 10 drops Peppermint 
  • 10 drops Frankincense 
  • Top with Grapeseed Oi

Sleep Roller (May be a great idea for those with restless kiddos.) 

  • 10 drops Lavender 
  • 8 drops Vetiver 
  • 6 drops Valerian 
  • 4 drops Cedarwood
  • 2 drops Frankincense
  • Top with Fractionated Coconut Oil

Focus Roller (Idea for students, business person, or entrepreneur.)

  • 10 drops Clarity
  • 8 drops Cedarwood
  • 6 drops Vetiver
  • 4 drops Peppermint
  • 2 drops Cobaiba
  • Top with Choice Carrier Oil

Foot Soak

  • 1/2 cup Baking Soda
  • 1 cup Espom Salt
  • 5 drops Essential Oils (Try using Peppermint or Lavender)
  • Place in glass container with pretty label

Sugar Scrub

  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup Coconut Oil
  • 6 drops Essential Oils (Try Lavender, Peppermint, Grapefruit, Stress Away, Bergamot, Valor)

    Whipped Body Butter (Oh and it feels & smells so good!) 

    • 1/2 cup each of Solid Coco Butter, Solid Shea Butter, Solid Coconut Oil, Olive Oil
    • 1/2 tsp Essential Oils (I used Peppermint, Lavender, & Vanilla) 
    • Heat in double boiler or microwave until solids are melted then place in fridge for 1 hour or until firm
    • Whip with hand mixer until fluffy
    • Add oils and mix again
    • Place in glass containers and decorate with labels, ribbon, etc

    Soy Candles (Actually way cheaper than store bought) 

    • Hot glue bottom of wick to bottom of whatever holder you decide to use (wicks can be purchased on Amazon)
    • Fill the jar, tea cup, etc with Soy Wax Flakes (easily bought from Amazon) 
    • Place in microwave and melt completely (Warning: Jar will be HOT)
    • Add more flakes and melt to fill
    • Add appropriate amount of your choice of Essential Oils (10 drops for pint mason jars)
    • Wrap wick around a pencil, stick, or spoon and lay on container to keep wick standing straight
    • Let cool completely
    • Cut wick, add a pretty label, and tie with ribbon 
    • Viola! 
    • (Some Name Ideas: Baked Goods, Men’s Night, Stess Away, Etc) 
    • (Can also add fresh herbs or flowers, glitter, candle dye, and more.)

    Cinnamon Salf Dough Ornaments or Gift Tags

    • 2 cups Flour
    • 1 cup Salt
    • 1/2 cup Cinnamon
    • 1 1/2 cup Very Hot Water
    • 5 drops Cinnamon Bark oil
    • 5 drops Clove oil
    • (Can add other oils you may like- Nutmeg, Thieves, Orange, Ginger)
    • Mix, roll out, cookie cut
    • Don’t forget the hole for the string (try using a straw)
    • Let dry for 24 hours 
    • Tie string
    • (Can write on them, spray them with clear, add glitter, paint, HAVE FUN)

    Play Dough (So fun for the kiddos… and smells better)

    • 2 16 oz boxes of Corn Starch
    • 1 20 oz bottle of Lotion (preferably unscented, natural lotion)
    • Mix together and divide 
    • Add Yellow Food Coloring & Lemon for Sugar Cookie Play Dough
    • Blue Food Coloring & Peppermint for Minty Christmas Fun
    • Red Food Coloring & Christmas Spirit or Cinnamon Bark
    • Green Food Coloring & Pine or Spruce
    • Brown Food Coloring & Ginger, Clove, Cinnamon Bark, & Nutmeg for Gingerbread 

    Holiday Cooking & Baking:

    • Add 1-2 drops Peppermint or Cinnamon Bark to your Brownies
    • Add Thyme, Rosemary, Sage, & Lemon to the Butter for your Turkey
    • Add 1 drop of Thieves to your crockpot of Hot (Spiked) Cider 
    • Add a Citrus Oil or Spicy Oil to your Sugar Cookies
    • Try adding Lavender Oil to your Hot Chocolate (pleasant surprise there)

    I could go on and on and on with ideas! But, I want to wish everyone a very merry holiday. Here’s to another fabulous years of blogging Hair, Makeup, Oil Love, Life. Thank you for being such loyal readers and caring about what I write. I am truly blessed.

    Happy Holidays!

    Oil Love (Chapter 5: Energy, Meditation, Healing, & General Relaxation) 

    If you have read some of my previous blogs on Life, you are familiar with my new found journey on taking care of ME and on ways to take care of YOU. And you know, I have an obsession with Young Living Essential Oils. So why not marry the two into one informative blog?Here, I want to elaborate on the benefits of essential oils and energy, meditation, healing, and general relaxation. Adding essential oils to your self care is not only beneficial but fun, great smelling, & extremely therapeutic. 

    Essential oils are the life blood of plants just as the blood we have in our own bodies. Their healing properties for ailments have been used or thousands of years. Our bodies create energy as do essential oils and depending on what energy are bodies are creating determines what essential oil we need to balance and stabilize ourselves. 

    I would dive deep into the world of energies, chakras, and frequencies but we would be here for awhile. Instead, I want to mainly focus on what happens to these when emotions come into play (as they often do). We are electrical beings living in an electrical world. Every person, element, food, emotion, and action has an energy frequency measured in MHz. In order to stay healthy mentally, emotionally, & physically, we must raise our frequencies, align and restore natural energies, remove blockages, and enhance perceptions. 

    A healthy body measures at 62-68 MHz. Negative thoughts can lower our frequency by 12 MHz in just 3 seconds. A positive thought raises it by the same in about 12 seconds. When the body drops below the healthy level of frequency, sickness can occur. Your overall well being goes out the window. This is why stress and pent up emotions can cause more harm that you know. We need those “good vibrations”.  

    Clinical research shows that essential oils have the highest frequency of any natural substance known to man, creating an environment in which disease, bacteria, virus, fungus, etc., cannot live. I believe that the chemistry and frequencies of essential oils have the ability to help man maintain the optimal frequency to the extent that disease cannot exist.

    -Gary Young of Young Living Essential Oils

    However, one must be careful when healing your energy or balancing your emotions with essential oils. Start with the oil with the lowest frequency and layer by ascending frequencies. If we were to mix the frequencies in a disorderly way, we could cause a chaotic reaction. When our bodies are in an emotional state already, it would not be wise. Why add chaos to the chaos? My favorite oils to balance my energy and raise frequency are Clarity (101 MHz), Abundance (78 MHz), Lavender (118 MHz), & Frankincense (147 MHz). 

    We can diffuse or wear the essential oils topically. We can place them on the appropriate chakra. A chakra is an energy point in the body or the intersection of energy channels that are our life source and vital energies. When we are deeply connected to our energy, chakras can become spheres of radiant energy healing our emotions and/or ailments. Chakras are the gateways of consciousness. We can become intune with ourselves and become at peace. Each chakra has its own purpose, association, and connection and it is important for them to be balanced and in harmony with each other. This of this as road. When there is a road block, traffic occurs. And even if we take a detour, traffic will soon back up there. We must remove the road block to allow traffic to move freely. Root Chakra is our foundation or our “root”. When in balance we feel secure, connected, supported, strong, trusting and safe. When out of balance we feel insecure, angry, annoyed, irritated and worried about our basic needs. We become ungrounded. (Try balancing with Grounding, Patchouli, or Clove.)

    Sacral Chakra is the centre for sexual energy, creativity and pure emotions. Balances your ability to give and receive feelings and emotions. When in balance we feel brave, passionate, energetic, confident, creative, spontaneous, excited, open, and kind. When out of balance we feel unsure of ourselves in relationships, vulnerabe, and fear in expressing ourselves. We tend to feel betrayed, frustrated, regret, anxieties, stressors, and guilt. (Try balancing with Release, Clary Sage, Ylang Ylang, or Sage.)

    Solar Plexus Chakra is where the personality is formed and is also called our “gut instinct” chakra. When in balance we feel positive, whole, self-respected, compassionate, powerful, and hopeful. When out of balance we feel powerless, worthless, self-critical, rejected, and shameful. There is a great need to dominate and control (which is my biggest problem). (Try balancing with Cedarwood, Cinnamon Bark, or Vetiver.)

    Heart Chakra is obviously our center of love, spirituality, humanity and healing. It is the major intersection of all feelings and emotions. When in balance we feel joy, gratitude, love, unity, compassion, acceptance, pride,inspiration, forgiveness and empathy. When out of balance we feel jealous, abandoned, anger, and bitterness. (Try balancing with Abundance or Bergamot.)

    Throat Chakra allows us to communicate  our needs and take responsibility for decision making. When in balance we feel relaxation. We have the ability to communicate freely and express ourselves. When out of balance we feel powerless to speak out, fear of being judged and rejected. This can lead to feeling out of control, hurt, sad, and resentful (more of my personal issues). (Try balancing with Peace & Calming I/II, Stress Away, or Lavender.)

    Third Eye Chakra is our perspective, spiritual wisdom, understanding, and intuition. When in balance we feel clear and focused. We are open to receiving wisdom, insight, and intelligence. There is an awareness of connectiveness. When out of balance, we reject ideas of spiritual aspects of life and become unable to self-reflect. (Try balancing with Clarity, Peppermint, or Palo Santo.)

    Crown Chakra connect us to an awareness of with life, spirituality, and ourselves. We are able to live in the now. When in balance we feel empowered, calm, valued, present to the moment, trusting of the flow of life. When out of balance we feel confusion and depression. We may have very fixed, black and white thinking and unable to go with the flow. (Try balancing with Frankincense or Highest Potenial.)We lay focus on our chakras during meditaion. There are several ways to meditate. A few minutes throughout the day is all it takes to recenter yourself. Mindful Meditation: Be aware of your thoughts and emotions. Take a breath and clear your mind. Focus on accepting your thoughts, feeling, and environments in a nonjudgmental way. Allow your mind to drift into peace. We can do this anywhere- at home, in office, in traffic, etc.

    Mantra Meditation: Choose a mantra or slogan that best fits your needs and solely focus on that by closing your eyes and repeating it out loud or silently to yourself. This allows us to stay current with what we want or need our of our lives. “I am worth it!” “Good things will happen!” “I will overcome!” 

    Sensation Meditation: This can be done doing the dishes, petting the cats, walking, or showering. Focus on the sensations these tasks give us. Feel the warmth of the water or tickles of the bubbles, the softeness of the cat fur, or the movement of your legs or texture of the ground. Whatever task you choose to do, focus on the physical sensations and feelings. It is an on-the-go form of mindful meditation. 

    Guided Meditation: Thankfully we are given the wonderful world of the Internet and YouTube. We are able to easy find readily available guided meditations. Guided meditations are essentially a script given to us to put us in a state of mindfulness and peace. Place yourself in the surroundings they describe. Allow yourself to think the thoughts it gives you. And above all else, feel! Feel the emotions it gives you.

    “Meditate-because some answers cannot be answered by Google.”

    Life is about free will. We have have to power to choose how we  think, feel, react, and what we decide and do. If there is chaos or negativity surrounding us, we choose how we react to it. We can either let it go or live with a sense of anxiety. We decide to take control and also live with anxiety or we can let go and say “what it the worst thing that can happen?”. Meditation, focusing on the Chakras, and balancing our energies and frequencie allows us to take steps to living a more peaceful life with a higher purpose. Essentials oils can help us on this road to self-recovery. There is power in aromatherapy and the microcells essential oils have. 

    Therapy is a great start to allowing yourself to let go and feel emotions. One must be honest with not only the therapist but with oneself. You will realize that it is okay to feel what you feel and that you, essentially, aren’t crazy. You will be given ways to better deal with your situations. You will have a voice, and most importantly, an ear. 

    Not into therapy? Try Reiki or an Angel Reading! These allow you to be one with your spirituality and having a sense of oneself with a greater purpose. You are not alone in this world no matter what you believe. The most important this is to stay open. Have an open mind, heart, and soul. We can’t give or receive if we are closed. Taking care of you is the bravest thing you can do. You won’t be perfect at it and- guess what?- that is okay! Stay strong! Stay diligent! Stay consistent! You will be a better person and caregiver. You will have a greater sense of YOU! Allowing yourself to let go will help you balance your emotions, have a higher frequency, all while creating a healthier you. Your well being will thank you. 

    Happy Discovering You and Letting Go of the BS! Finally!!! 

    A Spotlight on Yours Truly (Written By a Fellow Blogger, Coworker, & Friend) 

    I am so grateful to be working with some amazing people. It is amazing to build and work with a team who are more than coworkers but family. 

    My fellow coworker and friend, Jaimy, has taken on the task in writing the blog for Salon Boutique, and this month, she has chosen to write a beautiful spotlight on me. Filled with fun facts and humor, I couldn’t ask for a better excerpt of this blog written about me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope my readers here love it as much as I do. Pretty sure she got me dead on! 

    SB Squad Stylist Spotlight: The Bossi Edition
    Happy Reading!

    The Adventures of Marlena’s Hair Has Continued! 

    Listen, this girl has given me a challenge of a lifetime. It has taken, what it feels like a gazillion processes to achieve what I like to think of as a complete and utter miracle. 

    Marlena has called me her “Hair Angel Sent From Heaven”. I don’t know if I would go that far, but I was a bit of a miracle worker. (Pat on the back for me!) 

    If you are new to The Adventures of Marlena’s Hair, click below to read the whole story. It is a must to really feel the whole effect of this miraculous creation. 

    Read Me! Read Me!

    After achieving what I thought was success, of course she couldn’t stop there. This is the glory and horror of our profession. We have a rainbow of colors and a plethora of shears on hand and dangerously creative minds that shoot out endless ideas like a machine gun. 

    Let us take a look at what we had achieved. Pretty darn amazing figuring we came from the blue from hell. I know pretty incredible!!!!!! 

    Marlena then decided to cut her hair and I mean cut. All that work and we wack it off. Though, her hair felt amazing even after the bazillion processes, a good haircut wasn’t a bad idea. To top it off, it is pretty cute. 

    But let’s add one more task to make my life harder. How about going blonder? 

    Whoa is me! 

    I knew that green was going to rear it’s ugly head again. Luckily, these are times I love my job. It’s exhilarating to have a challenge. Minor note: I love insane challenges only when the person I am servicing understands the process is unpredictable… as well as the cost. Anything is possible with time, patience, trust, and a full wallet. 

    After some major fading and a clarifying treatment, here is what I had to work with:

    I started by weaving thin highlights of Lightener throughout her entire head root to end. Between the foils, I toned some of the sage green with a light red orange. I let her sit for about a half hour only to save the integrity of her hair. 

    After rinsing and blow drying, we were left with a too warm of root and mint green and yellow blonde ends. I wish I had a picture. 

    This is again when the fun part starts. Formulating. This is when I had to come up with one color for the root area and one for the ends and have them both blend and match. 

    For the root, I used a Level 7 Mocha. I love the Mochas in Redken Shades EQ Cream. They are a cool warm and just beautiful. For the ends, I used the same light red orange as before. 

    The root color turned out gorgeous. However, to my dismay, the ends did nothing but look like crud. 

    Time for the thinking cap and reassurance from another stylist. I remembered a formula for a Rose Gold I did on a client recently. What the hell? What could it hurt? With a more pigmented red, maybe the green would finally cancel out. I mixed a Level 5 red violet with a light titanium with clear and processed for 5-8 minutes all at the same time doing a lot of praying. 

    After checking to make sure most of the green was neutralized, I rinsed. 

    After blow drying even just one section, I was jumping for joy. SUCCESS! 

    Holy crap was it perfectly beautiful?Check it out!  Eeeeeeek! I am so excited! I couldn’t have asked for a better turnout! I mean come one, look what we did! A miracle I tell you! 

    Let us review: What will we do next! Stay tuned!!

    Happy Changing Your Color and Praying at the Same Time! 

    The “Non-Mom” Struggles 

    (Note: This was extremely hard to write and I will, I’m sure, offend someone. But, I needed to share this not only to further healing myself but to take a stand on a issue that is too quiet. I hope I can help just one person go through this struggle. I hope that I can be their voice. And maybe I can open the eyes of those on the other side.)

    There are a few kinds of “Non-Moms”: Those Childless by Choice, Those Who Cannot Bear Children, And Those Struggling to Conceive. 

    This blog is not particularly written for the “Childless by Choice”. You have already come to terms with your decision though I am sure some struggles arise for you as well. And maybe this blog will help you. Who knows? However, this is written for those of you who have had their motherhood dreams crushed or who were told the chances are small and for those trying every month to no avail. All non-moms-not-by-choice continue to go through the same trials. We are essentially living through what I call “The Great Mom Divide”. 

    We are broken up into two completely separate groups: The Moms & The Non-Moms. At times, we might as well be in separate countries with the way the distance feels between us. Moms will be social with other moms. And us non-moms, well, our group grows smaller and smaller. 

    The support group surrounding moms is large; non-moms, not so much. Think about it. Watch advertisements. There is even a National Holiday. There are groups and meetings. There is no voice for the non-mom sector of women. 

    Well, here it is, I’ll say it. 

    It sucks. 

    It almost feels like your going through a long term bereavement, a never ending sense of mourning. Society has essentially made it seem like you have not “arrived” unless you have become a mother or that you have failed at the one job you were put on the earth to do which is to procreate. You lose your sense of womanhood. You mourn the loss of your friends. They have migrated to the more like-minded, birth-accomplished circle. They are no longer in your life like they used to be or like you think they should be still. You are mourning the sense of accomplishment. You may be a successful career woman or an an intellectual or a giver to the community. But, you have not given to the world a child for the future. And unfortunately, you may be mourning the loss of your relationship with your partner whether it be all together or the way it used to be. 

    All those things that were once there are no longer or they are hanging on by a single thread. You feel alone. Childless women are a minority. They are sidelined by the Mommy Networks. Even the support you do end up getting sometimes isn’t the greatest either. You hear things like: 

    “Don’t stress.”

    “It will happen when it happens.”

    Or you are given a list of suggestions of what to do and not do. 

    Those suggestions are easier said than done and often unachievable. The stress is immense. We don’t know if it will happen. What if it doesn’t? 

    And then we have social media. Pregnancy announcements and endless baby pics clutter our news feeds. 

    I’m sure I can speak for most when I say: 

    Listen. We are happy for you. However, tone it down. Remember, there are those looking at your elated baby pics and crying for what they cannot have or what they have lost. It’s a constant reminder. Be conscious. 

    Their pictures get more likes than your announcement of a promotion or your picture of your cat. This is again when we start feeling like we’re being picked last for the dodgeball team. This is also when, through the tears, we hide you off our feeds. 

    This shit sucks. (Excuse my French.) But let me tell you this, you are not alone. That is one thing I have found out for sure working with the public and being insanely candid about my life. There are people out there that you would never guess that went through similar situations. 

    I can’t promise you your friends will ever come back. I can’t promise you it will be the same when they do. I can’t promise that you won’t hold a grudge when they return when you, in fact, conceive. 

    I can’t promise you any of this will become easier. But what I can promise you is that you will survive. You will become strong. And I can promise you that good things will happen if you believe it. Maybe a baby isn’t in our future, but we will be blessed with something else truly amazing. 

    And for those of you on the other side, here is a few words for you. 

    Though we may not be mothers, we are people too. We matter. And if you think we don’t notice that you have come to only associate with other moms, we have. We have noticed your texting us has essentially disappeared. We have noticed you only share, comment on, and like other moms’ social media posts. We are there too, you know? 

    Again, we are people too. You can say you had no idea that we felt this way because 1. We are out experiencing the wonders of the worlds and thought we were busy or 2. They have been so busy caring for their babies that they feel like they have no time to even shower let alone send “hi”via text. However, that picture you just posted showed you at the park with another mom friend says otherwise.

    We all have emotions, the Moms and Non-Moms. I just hope maybe this makes a difference or just starts to narrow the Great Mom Divide. 

    We want to be excited for little Timmy’s first steps, but you have to let us. We want you to be excited for our life too, but you have to be there. We don’t have to feel like lepers. You can be there for us too. It only takes a second to ask us how we are. Maybe we won’t open up right away, but it’s nice to know you are still apart of our cheerleading team. 

    And though we may not have given birth, we can be mothers too. We have the power to be just as nurturing as those who are in your mom cliques. We would want to help you if you didn’t exclude us. If your too tired to reach out, call us we’ll come babysit while you nap. And please don’t think we can’t do or don’t trust us doing it. We are not morons because we haven’t pushed out a child.

    It only pains us more to not be apart of your lives in the reality sense. We don’t want to only see your life from the light of a phone or computer screen. Let us use your children as our rent-a-kids to find some solace in our struggle. 

    Don’t let us fall by the way side. Please. It’s hard enough fighting a war with fertility. We non-moms and moms can coincide on this Earth. We are women. We have plenty of other fights to conquer. Feel free to comment but remember, this is all a matter of opinion and personal experience. Please do not comment negativity. 

    Happy Healing! Happy TTC!